Girls Night #170: Boundaries for Beginners: How to set them and why they’ll change your life
IN THIS PODCAST EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:
How to take a personal boundary inventory and identify what boundaries you need
Why saying no to others and yes to yourself isn’t selfish and can actually help you be a better version of yourself (and love your people better!)
How to keep boundaries in place once you’ve set them
How to kindly respond to someone if you receive backlash for the boundary you’ve set
(You can also listen right here!👇)
(Or watch the interview right here!👇)
ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night!
I’m so excited for today’s episode. Today we’re talking about boundaries: How to set them, how to keep them, and why they’re so truly life-changing.
If you’ve been a Girls Night listener for a while now, this isn’t the first time you’re hearing me talk about boundaries. And it’s because this has been a HUGE lesson for me.
I am historically bad at knowing what I want and what I need — at drawing lines and saying no.
And for the longest time, I was okay with that. (Maybe even a little bit proud of it?)
I like being helpful. I like being needed. I like feeling useful, and capable, and strong.
For years I thought that this was the best way to love the people I love: To always put their needs above my needs, to say yes to everything, to give but never take, and to have everything that’s mine be theirs without limit — whether it was my stuff, my space, my time, or my energy.
This is what I thought would lead to the healthiest, closest relationships. But over the last few years I’ve learned that the opposite is true.
Boundaries are an absolutely essential part of healthy relationships. They’re an essential part of a healthy life, of a healthy US.
And that’s what we’re talking about here today.
To help us through this, I invited my dear friend, Dr. Sasha Shillcutt back on the show. Sasha is a renowned cardiac anesthesiologist, professor, bestselling author and CEO and Founder of Brave Enough. Sasha is also a wife and a mother who has walked through seasons of loneliness, anxiety, and complete burnout. Needless to say, she has had to learn about boundaries the HARD way.
She has a new book called, Brave Boundaries: Strategies to Say No, Stand Strong and Take Control of Your Time where she helps us find the courage to implement boundaries in our own life.
Here are just a few of the things she’s going to teach us in this episode:
How to take a personal boundary inventory and identify what boundaries we need
Why saying no to others and yes to ourselves isn’t selfish and can actually help us be a better version of ourselves (and love our people better!)
How to kindly respond to someone if we receive backlash for the boundary we’ve set
And so much more!
One of my favorite things that Sasha says in the episode was, "The world will set your boundaries if you don't set them for yourself” and that couldn't be more true.
Friends, if you’re feeling anxious, burned out, or overwhelmed in life right now, this episode is for you!
PIN ME!
LINKS FROM THE SHOW
Steph’s book, The Lipstick Gospel (here’s a paperback copy and here’s a free digital download!)
Steph’s prayer journals, Every Single Moment and The Between Places
Past Girls Night Episode with Sasha: Girls Night #89: How to Embrace your Strength as a Woman (at Work and at Home)
Sasha’s book: Brave Boundaries: Strategies to Say No, Stand Strong, and Take Control of Your Time
Quotes Mentioned:
"If you're not living priorities, it's because you don't have boundaries" - Sasha
"The world will set your boundaries if you don't set them for yourself" - Sasha
"Boundaries don't just keep the bad out, they keep the good in" - Sasha
"A boundary that lives in your head is not a boundary. You have to express it to others." - Sasha
"It's okay for some people to be wrong about me" - Sasha
CONNECT WITH DR. SASHA SHILLCUTT
Website // Instagram // Facebook
CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE
WE LOVE OUR SPONSORS!
Our first sponsor for today’s episode is Modern Fertility. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/GIRLSNIGHT. That means your test will cost $179 instead of the hundreds or thousands it could cost at a doctor’s office. Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/GIRLSNIGHT.
Our second sponsor for today’s episode is Calm. For listeners of the show, Calm is offering an exclusive offer of 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at CALM.COM/girlsnight.